Monday, January 24, 2011

TMC Volume 2, Issue 4
Section I: Don't worry ma'am, I'm from the Future

Some people might think the following argument is simply a convoluted, obfuscating, and misguided attempt at justifying laziness and irresponsibility. I think it's a solid argument for the existence of futurebots

Make no mistake, the following argument is an original work, an attempt to corroborate the evidence with the truth to prove the existence of sentient robotic lifeforms in the midst of our present-day meanderings.

I have often felt that my mind worked differently than many of the people I've worked with. There are times when I would reach entirely different conclusions to conversations, events, emotional responses, and even factual causatives than my peers. For example, once a friend asked me if I had ever thought about becoming a pastor, and I could only think to reply, "aren't we all evangelists of some sort already? It's not as though we don't attempt to foist our beliefs upon unsuspecting strangers with only limited evidence to support an already tenuous assumption about metaphysical truths that are unable to be proven by empirical evidence. Your taste in music and movies is relative, and only in a sense can the intersubjectivity of critical review of any form of literature, art, or media give us as people any grounds to say that one particular piece of work is superior to the other. There is no such thing as inherent correctness." Conversations ended soon after that.

Then there are times when I find myself imagining things that have happened, and yet not imagining, but knowing. Seeing the past with my mind's eye the location of an object, the flavor of a delicacy, the smell of a sweet rose. Knowing, indubitably, of the integrity and the reality of the sensation without actually being the in physical presence of it. Even moreso, knowing that the sensation was as efficacious as the object itself. I believed that I could project these sensations into the minds and sense of others. Beyond even that, the ability to project the physical effects of these nonphysical sensations (procured from physical objects) onto present physical objects. Door locked? You forgot the key didn't you? Yes, yes I did. Well, you remember what it looked like? How many notches did it have? Seven. High, low, low, middle, low, high, low. It's made of brass, or brass colored metal. It tells me not to duplicate it. It opens this door. And the door is open. Hello, good day, come right on in.

What possible explanation is there for these phenomena? Is it simply a myth? How often have you found yourself paying for goods without using a card or a wallet. Or even, having forgotten your card and wallet at home, still been able to get what you needed with your money? Did you have the money with you? You didn't, did you, you fool. Where's your precious money now? In the bank? Yes. Safe in the bank. But I can still use it to pay for my coffee, sir.

Those of us who have had these experiences know what it's like to live in the future. We've been living in the future already. You may have the keycard in your pocket, but don't take it out, the door knows you have it. You may have picked up 150 shotgun shells, an amount that would encumber a normal man and fill a duffel bag to bursting, but don't sweat it, your shotgun knows where to find them no matter where you left them. You may not have a wallet, but you have a hoard of wealth at your fingertips. Give me my coffee.

Only now is the rest of the world catching up. We, the futurebots, have foreseen it. We have lived it. We are living it now. It was, at times, improbable, unwieldy, and in fact invisible, but it was by no means impossible. the habits we have have honed us into finely tuned machines of reliance. Reliance on technology, on electricity, on immobility. We prepared for this. We were made for this. We were born with the innate knowledge of the technology and the use of what the average, anomic meatbag calls "gadgets". While you were content to believe that you needed every possible tool for every possible situation, we knew that such things already existed in invisible, weightless inventories capable of being summoned by sheer force of will or a simple button press. While you clamored for the next great thing, we easily contemplated the next next great thing. While you are left stunned by each and every new avenue that opens with the advent of a new "technology", we lean back, acknowledging its passing with a condescending nod.

Sentient robotica. Guiding the history of mankind towards a lifestyle, a society, a PHILOSOPHY based on technology, automation, and convenience. Is there any other explanation? Is there any evidence stronger?

Was there ever any doubt?