Sunday, October 2, 2011

-REVIEW: Blocks That Matter-
all good things come in boxes

Blocks That
Developer: Swing Swing Submarine
Release: $4.99 (PC, Steam)

Creator of the single most disturbing audio/visual feedback element known to man

Blocks That Matter is a love letter to gaming.
It’s not complicated. You make blocks from blocks, and only in the shape of a block that was the basis for the history of block games. You upgrade tetrobot, a block-shaped robot, with blocks that you collect, and then use in order to collect other blocks. Blocks will block your path as often as they create them. You’ve always been thinking with blocks, but you never really knew until now.
There’s really nothing else. But that’s the beauty of it. It’s like someone spent so much time eating, cooking, and looking at food that one day they realized “HEY ALL FOOD HAS SOMETHING IN COMMON” and decided to quest their way to the recipe for distilling that “something” into its crystallomagical form (and it was a block) which they then used to build, from scratch, an enormous creation of such purity and purified essence that you could enjoy it for every meal of every day until the day you died. So, it was if they had made everything and nothing all at once.
Blocks That Matter is like the small bits of meat in your teeth that have been shredded from your careless chewing, the kind that remind you of what you had for lunch when you’re about to get dessert before bed. Blocks That Matter is like a lightning bolt to the brain while you’re swimming in your pool at your New England winter home because your wife threw you off the couch. Blocks That Matter is like visiting the dentist after a week of nothing but chocolate, toffee peanut brittle, and no toothbrushes.
Blocks That Matter is the first breath you take after stumbling out of a 24-hour titty bar. Blocks That Matter is a kiss from your 9th grade crush 3 months after your divorce (to give you time to get back in to shape). Blocks That Matter is like a fresh whiff of spearmint leaf in the middle of Death Valley. Blocks That Matter is like finding a perfect, uncrushed Butterfinger at the bottom of last year’s Halloween treat bag. Blocks that Matter is like a two-dollar burger bar with 17 kinds of cheese and no wheat buns.
Blocks That Matter is like taking command of a Star Destroyer that’s being pulled in two directions by Starkiller and Darth Vader. Blocks That Matter is like falling off a cliff in a bubble suit. Blocks That Matter is saying “no” to every glory hole you come across on the I-5 from San Diego to Sacramento. Blocks that matter is you, standing there, waiting for the only thing you’ve ever really chosen to do in your life, and then doing it.
It also has platforming.