Posts

Showing posts from December, 2010

thank god it's christmas

merry christmas and happy new year everybody!

The Mediocrity Codex: Volume I, Issue II
Section IV: who needs fingernails, anyway

Aldavaro Barvolo is a simple man. “I don’t know who gave me the case! I don’t remember!” He has simple needs. He needs a bed. He needs a meal. He needs love. “I can barely remember what I did two days ago. I’ve had that case for 6 months! I’m telling you, I don’t remember!” For man like Aldavaro, these needs usually come easily. A bit of sleep here, a ham sandwich, there. “Please, please, I’m telling you. Believe me I have no idea how I got that damn thing. Please? Come on. Come on!” But today, for a man like Aldavaro Barvolo, things are not so simple. “I mean, look, I don’t even know what’s in the case. I opened it once. There’s papers right? And some pictures. That’s all I saw. I don’t know anything. I shouldn’t have kept it. I know. I’m sorry. Is that what you want? I’m sorry?” Today, Aldavaro’s needs have become a bit more complex. Today, Aldavaro’s needs will not come so easily. “Ok, look. Look. This woman. She dropped the briefcase when we were getting off the b

The Mediocrity Codex: Volume I, Issue II
Section II: the keyhole is the key

Image
I almost lost my keys today. Keys are such small things. So easy to lose. It’s a wonder I don’t lose my keys all the time. But I did today. I was dreading getting off that bus and coming back to my car, calling my dad, praying and hoping there would be a spare so that I wouldn’t have to leave my car overnight at the bus station. At work it was out of sight, out of mind. it’s times like these where I really believe something is wrong with me. I don’t panic. I don’t get scared. I don’t suffer from anxiety. Even when I should. I necessarily should. I’ve lost my keys! I mean, right? I’m sititng at my desk, watching Louis C.K. I’ve lost my keys. I have no idea where my keys are. I picture them in my mind, lying in the gravel and rain, silently waiting for me to pick them up. They could be in someone else’s hands by now. Worse yet, my CAR could be in someone else’s hands by now. I’m watching Louis C.K. talk about how he hates having to raise kids. What do I feel? Well, to be honest I’m la

The Mediocrity Codex: Volume I, Issue 2
Section I: fly in a bottle

why do we use the soft e in the word preposition? totally confusing. I'm tired of internet jargon. TIRED of it. There's enough jargon as it is due to academic disciplines and technological advances, but internet jargon isn't like that. No one really "gets better" at the internet. Ok, ok, i know you're saying, "yes, yes they do. And the people that don't are internet noobs." Things like search engines and blogging and keeping up with the right blogs and believing the right bloggers and not getting your computer infected with spyware/malware/viruses. Ok, sure. but none of those things require phrases like "OMG, Do want!" or "it's over 9000!" and god forbid "tl;dr" (which stands for "too long; didn't read"). If there's an abbreviation to preface a summary of a post by a complete stranger because such a preface has found the need to be used SO OFTEN, why don't people just refrain from making l

The Mediocrity Codex: Volume I, Issue I
Section V: I’m Nothing Without you, Batman

Tim Burton’s “Batman” (1989) was the only iteration of Batman I knew until I was 12 years old. I first watched it on VHS with my parents when I was about 9, and I remember being intrigued (and a bit confused) by the killer handshake buzzer (as in, “so THAT’s what those things do.” Yes. After watching this movie once I came to believe that ALL handbuzzers were indeed killer shock handbuzzers.) I was also wonderfully and willingly drawn into the world of Gotham City: a perpetually dark, aristocratic yet sordid landscape of petty criminals and billionaire vigilantes. From that iteration to that which appeared on the WB a few years later (1996), I had become thoroughly convinced that Batman was nowhere near a regular human being, but indeed a full-fledged super-human. Chalk it up to my disinterest in comics (more like lack of exposure), but I never got into the original illustrated series. Nor was I aware of Adam West’s portrayal of the hero. To me, Batman will forever be Michael Keaton

The Mediocrity Codex: Volume I, Issue I
Section IV: a curiosity in name only

What makes a man a killer? That he has killed? That he is capable of killing? What makes a man a killer... Don't think about it. You just have to do it. You can't hesitate. You hesitate, he gets you first. It's you or him. You can't have doubts. Where's your war face? Show me your war face. Show me your war face! A man incapable of  killing is a coward. A man who cannot kill cannot defend himself. A man who cannot kill cannot defend his family. A man who cannot kill cannot defend his country. You need clarity for conviction. You need conviction for control. You need control to kill. And that's what you're here for. You are the tool. I am the hand. You are the tool. A reliable tool. Control the mind. Every kill begins in the mind. Every weapon exists in the mind. Control mind and control the kill. Control the weapon. When I'm through with you you'll be a killer. See? Others make children into men. I make men into killers. You can be a kille

The Mediocrity Codex: Volume I, Issue I
Section III: the ambiguity of scientific outcomes

My very first experiences with science as a discipline were not unlike many young children, I’m sure. In a classroom, in front of a teacher, from a book, with pencil and paper poised and ready. You’re told that there’s a right answer. You’re told that it’s a simple step-by-step path from Point A to Point B. And then you’re off. A train is traveling from Chicago to Boston at 50 miles per hour. Another train leaves Boston 2 hours later traveling at 70 miles per hour. When will both trains crash in spectacular fashion and how many bodies will be ejected from their shattered husks? And what will their sons and daughters think? Of course, the answer is simple. Point B, your mind shouts. Point B! But along the way I got lost somewhere. Somewhere between Point A and Point B, I got caught up looking for stinkbugs and goldfish. And all I found was a piece of dirty pocket lint stuck to the inside of my hooded sweater pocket. That was my Point B. The marv

The Mediocrity Codex: Volume I, Issue I
Section II: the unappreciated charm of 1984's "The Karate Kid"

So I got busted at work today. Science requires that everything be meticulously recorded, whether success or failure. Beyond that, reagents and solutions also need proper labels, with accurate dates, contents, and signatures. It's all about accountability. And I suppose that's why I get busted so easily. On top of this, there's a volunteer at the lab now, whom I have to train and am responsible for. Which would be great, except that English isn't his first language and Chinese isn't mine. Sure, it's a great opportunity to learn Chinese, and it's a rare and wonderful chance for me to teach a non-native speaker the joys of the English language, but to be honest, it sucks. Besides, when am I ever going to have to translate things like "gel electrophoresis" and "vacuum gas plasma-treated tissue culture flasks". Never. That's when. Anyway, onto the meat and buns of my thoughts for today. I watched (and am currently watching) the origin